Category: Annual holidays

  • Summer holidays: five questions UK parents asked throughout July  

    Summer holidays: five questions UK parents asked throughout July  

    From screen time and summer routines to keeping children entertained without spending a fortune, we explore five familiar school holiday questions through a relationship-focused lens

    Six weeks without school can mean more time together, but it can also mean higher costs, less routine and long days to fill. Throughout July, parents on social media shared questions many families will recognise:

    1. Do I need to keep the children busy every day? 
    2. How can we keep some routine without planning every hour? 
    3. Is it normal to dread the summer holidays? 
    4. How can we make the holidays feel special without spending a fortune?  
    5. How do we protect family time when screens take over?  

    Behind these questions are familiar pressures: money, changing routines and the feeling that every day should be memorable. 

    School holidays can be enjoyable, but they can also feel expensive, tiring and relentless.  

    Feeling overwhelmed does not mean you are doing anything wrong.  

    Psychologists sometimes describe a ‘window of tolerance’, the space where feelings are manageable enough for us to think clearly. Tiredness, worry and too many demands can push us beyond it, making patience and conflicting priorities harder to manage.  

    If you notice your head feeling full, giving yourself a little space to pause, process or talk things through can help restore your capacity to think. That extra emotional space can make difficult family moments feel more manageable and make it easier to reconnect afterwards. 

    Making memories without spending a fortune

    Days out, holiday clubs, travel and extra food can quickly add up. When budgets are already stretched, the pressure to create an exciting summer can feel even greater.  

    Psychology says your relationship with your child or young person is what helps them thrive, not the activities themselves. Activities can simply be the vehicle, providing a helpful context for your relationship to develop through shared experiences, conversation and connection.     

    Your relationship with your child at the heart  

    A good day does not need a big budget. Families could: 

    • Search local council websites for holiday activities 
    • Check libraries, museums, parks and community venues for free events 
    • Explore local nature trails, community farms and donation-based activities 
    • Join the free Summer Reading Challenge through a library or online.  

    The RSPB also shares simple activities families can try together, from spotting wildlife and going on a minibeast hunt to making a bird bath or creating a home for nature. Find out more by visiting the RSPB website, here. 

    The Merlin Bird ID app can add a sense of discovery to a walk or time in the garden. Families can use it together to identify birds by their songs, calls or appearance, helping children notice and learn more about the nature around them. It is available from the App Store and Google Play. 

    The pressure to create a memorable summer can become another emotional demand. Connection often grows through ordinary shared experiences, not how much has been planned or spent. Choosing something that feels manageable for you too can leave more space for conversation, enjoyment and being together. Taking some pressure off the activity can often give the relationship more room.  

    Finding a holiday rhythm

    Without school runs, lessons and clubs, the usual shape of the week can disappear. Some children enjoy the freedom, while others may feel unsettled when they do not know what is happening next. 

    A holiday routine does not need to cover every hour. A few familiar points in the day may be enough, such as: 

    • Getting dressed and starting the day at a similar time
    • Regular meals and snacks
    • Time outside or moving around
    • A recognisable bedtime routine

    Predictability can reduce uncertainty for parents and carers too. If your children are old enough not to need childcare and you are working from home, it is still good to hold them in mind by building in a couple of check-in points in the day. These few familiar moments can reduce some of the mental load, making interruptions easier to cope with and helping the day feel steadier for everyone. 

    Filling the days without filling every minute

    Feeling responsible for keeping everyone entertained can be exhausting. There can be pressure to make every day special. However, children do not need six weeks of trips, crafts and carefully planned activities. 

    Simple moments together might include: 

    • Taking lunch to the park
    • Cooking or baking together 
    • Creating a photo, nature or bird spotting challenge 
    • Letting children choose between two simple activities 

    A simple choice can help children feel involved while keeping decisions manageable for parents and carers. 

    Relationships are a two-way process. In psychology, reciprocity describes the back-and-forth where both people have a part in shaping an interaction. It is really beneficial to infants, children and teenagers when parents create space in the interaction for their child to take their turn, offer their ideas, and influence the decisions and conversations.  Offering a small choice within a wider structure can give children a sense of agency to contribute, and they will likely feel that you value their opinions and what matters to them. 

    When the holidays feel difficult

    The holidays do not need to be packed or picture-perfect. Small plans, familiar routines and ordinary moments together can help family life feel lighter, calmer and more connected. 

    More time together can bring more big feelings and potential disagreements. When behaviour feels difficult, pausing to consider what may be happening underneath can help. Tiredness, boredom, disappointment or a need for closeness can all shape behaviour.  

    Togetherness pathways give parents and carers a reflective space to build understanding of children’s emotional development and behaviour, unpack some of the ideas mentioned in this article and explore practical ideas that can help strengthen relationships in everyday family life.  

    Parents, carers and professionals can use our free access checker to explore Togetherness pathways available in their area.  

  • Mother’s Day: celebrating all mums trying their best

    Mother’s Day: celebrating all mums trying their best

    Amongst the busy preparations, expectations and gestures of ‘Mothering Sunday’ it’s time to recognise the parents showing up every day, being present and being ‘good enough’ for their children, to whom for much of their lives they are the whole world.

    “There is no such thing as a ‘perfect parent’, even though we may wish to be one. At times it can be a struggle. Being a parent isn’t easy, but it can be enjoyable and rewarding. To be a ‘good enough’ parent can take a great deal of determination, thoughtfulness and support.”

    Solihull Approach: The First Five Years, p.371

    POV: social media shows ‘idealised’ motherhood but it’s no good for our wellbeing

    As Mother’s Day approaches, it’s natural to reflect on the journey of motherhood. 

    In a world where social media often showcases curated snippets of seemingly perfect parenting, increasingly we acknowledge the stark contrast between the idealised image and the gritty reality of raising children. Furthermore, ‘good enough’ is what children need to flourish and develop ‘adaptive’ mental health.

    “It’s the adjustments made to stay in tune and manage our own emotions that teach children about their own regulation. If you’re feeling the pressure to be the perfect parent, let this be your watershed moment. If we’re perfect all the time how we can we show our children how to feel and express themselves passionately, to say sorry, to fall out and make up again and to get through sadness or stress?”

    It is in these moments, where we model how to keep going even when life is tough that can be the most lasting lessons to see our children through the inevitable ups and downs of life. 

    How mums can look after their wellbeing

    • Find a friend to share the mental load – taking time to be honest about the stresses and worries of life with a close friend or relative can help you make sense of your experiences and process how you’re feeling.
    • Find time to practice hobbies and self-care – In the busyness of family life, it is easy for parents’ interests and hobbies to take a back seat. But even finding 15 minutes a day to do something you enjoy can help maintain work/life balance.
    • Find your rhythm – Routines can really help bring structure to busy calendars and “being predictable” supports your children’s emotional development and creates feelings of safety. Choosing not to overstrain yourself can feel hard and sometimes we do live outside our optimal zone of functioning. But it’s important to find strategies to return to a state that is sustainable – so that we can keep going!

    Acknowledging family uniqueness

    The truth is that parenting is unique to us and our families. Each mother navigates her journey with a unique set of circumstances, challenges, and triumphs. It’s your relationship and your ability to tune in to understand your child that matters.  

    We know that persevering to be present, staying curious about how your child is feeling and what they need and nurturing a connected relationship takes energy and time. We’re here to encourage you to keep doing what you’re doing. Well done for showing up! For asking curious questions! For being interruptible! 

    Ultimately, the aeroplane safety advice, ‘Put your own mask on first’, is as appropriate for motherhood and parenting. Parents who feel well supported and prioritise their emotional health are better able to support their children to flourish in their wellbeing as they grow. 

    Journeying on through motherhood

    This Mother’s Day let’s take a moment to celebrate the joy in the messy, the funny in the bickering and the deep love in the tensions. Let’s also recognise that the relentless responsibilities of parenting can take a toll on our mental and emotional wellbeing. Being a mum can be exhausting and when you’re exhausted it’s often harder to keep up and give your best for your children. 

    That’s why we’re here, to let you know it’s okay (and really good) to ask for help, to share the challenges and talk about what’s tricky. Talking through in a trusted relationship can be helpful in problem solving and letting go of some stresses. There’s research to support this too and you can learn about it in our learning pathways and resources for raising emotional health on togetherness.co.uk/learn. 

    Maybe you can find some time this week to take a look to reflect on your relationships and where your emotional health is at? 

    Happy Mother’s Day. 

    Togetherness Team