How to support your child’s emotional wellbeing

Starting a new school can be a daunting experience for any child. They must navigate the complexities of separation, independence, and building new relationships. As parents, it’s natural to want to shield our children from any discomfort or anxiety they may feel during this transition. However, normal fears and worries accompany each stage of development. Our role as parents is not to dismiss these feelings but to help our children cope and grow through them. 

Adolescence, particularly, is a time of exploration and self-discovery. It’s a period when children begin to assert their independence, separating from their parents to find their own path. Starting a new school can amplify feelings of uncertainty and apprehension as they step into the unfamiliar. Although changing, parent relationships remain most important for providing the safe space children need to express their fears without judgment or criticism.  

One concept that can be particularly helpful in supporting children through times of emotional upheaval is containment. Containment involves helping a person manage their emotions, such as anger or guilt, so they don’t become overwhelmed. It’s about holding onto those feelings and giving them back in a way that’s manageable and bearable. As parents, we can serve as ‘containers’ for our children’s emotions but in order to do so we may also need to talk through our worries with another adult so we can be fully open to hearing and supporting our child. After all, their worries are often different.

Some ideas to help with those important conversations:

• Make time: Take time to make sure you are both fully engaged, feeling calm and not distracted
• Ask openly with interest: Try open, prompting questions like ‘I wonder if you’re feeling a bit worried about…’ or ‘Is there anything you’d like to know more about or understand better about…’
• Listen actively: Repeat back what you’re hearing to check you’ve understood and help your child articulate what they really mean
• All feelings are welcome: Recognise that it’s OK and normal to feel different emotions and validating ‘difficult’ feelings can be really helpful and builds resilience and confidence (this goes for adults too!)
• Connect with others: Encourage your child to talk to their peers as well as family and other friends to help them explore their emotions and feel more prepared
• Think calmly: Introducing techniques such as deep breathing and mindfulness might be helpful for keeping calm when you’re not with them. When we feel calm, we can make decisions more easily and take control of situations. You’ll find lots of other practical tips in our online learning courses for parents!