Togetherness reflects on a recent BBC Radio 4 discussion about the pressure to “stay positive” and why making space for difficult feelings maters for emotional wellbeing and relationships
A recent episode of BBC Radio 4’s Sideways explored an experience many people may recognise. One contributor, reflecting on her experience of bowel cancer, explained how repeated encouragement to “stay positive” made it harder to share how she was really feeling.
Although she understood that the optimism was well-intentioned, it left little space for her fear, sadness and uncertainty, or indeed, their fear, sadness and uncertainty. Over time, she felt less able to speak openly about her own emotions. This experience raises an important question: what happens when difficult feelings do not feel welcome?
The NHS advises that talking about our feelings with someone we trust can help when we are experiencing stress, worry or low mood.
This reflects containment, one of the three core principles of the Solihull Approach model that underpins Togetherness.
Containment is about helping someone feel heard and understood when emotions feel overwhelming. By recognising and making sense of feelings such as anxiety and distress, it helps restore a person’s capacity to think clearly.
Making space for difficult feelings is particularly important for children and young people. From toddlerhood to the teenage years, children undergo significant emotional, social and neurological development. Their behaviour may communicate feelings they cannot yet understand or express. Supportive relationships can help them process those emotions and build emotional resilience.
The Understanding your child: from toddler to teenager pathway explores children’s development, emotional health, behaviour and relationships from six months to 19 years and beyond.
Children are also growing up amid social media, artificial intelligence, online influences and global uncertainty. These experiences can shape how they think, feel and relate to others. The Understanding your child in a changing world pathway explores the pressures and complexities of modern childhood and why understanding and connection matter.
Parents, carers and professionals can use our free access checker to explore Togetherness pathways and build the knowledge and understanding needed to support children and young people.
Support for parents and carers
Our online learning pathways help parents, carers and grandparents learn about children’s feelings, behaviour, development and relationships at different ages and stages.
They offer practical ideas and space to reflect. They help families think about what may be happening beneath the surface and how everyday connection can support emotional wellbeing.
For parents and carers: explore Togetherness pathways to find practical support that fits your family, your child and where you are in your parenting journey.
For professionals: Togetherness training for professionals, built around the Solihull Approach model, to support work with families